Couples Counseling

Relationships…

Why doesn’t anyone warn us that what was once so great can go so terribly awry?!  Relationship problems are a fact of life and can range from minor communication disconnects to major chaos that leaves the relationship hanging by a thread.

By the time a troubled couple makes it to my office, I often hear statements such as:

• I don’t feel seen/understood/respected by my partner
• I’m lonely
• My partner is too emotional or needy
• My partner is emotionally unavailable/robotic/distant/cold
• We can’t communicate without it turning into an argument
• My partner is too critical/controlling of me
• We don’t have sex often enough
• I can’t express my emotions without my partner shutting down/getting reactive
• We fight constantly (about parenting, chores, sex, money, etc)
• I don’t trust my partner
• I don’t feel seen/heard in this relationship
• I don’t think my partner likes me
• My partner prioritizes everything over me
• We don’t have fun together anymore
• I love my partner, but I’m not in love with them

We all bring our own set of behaviors, beliefs, expectations, and communication styles to a relationship.  Sometimes established patterns that were acceptable early on in the relationship just stop working and it becomes necessary to shift to new ways of interacting.

Unfortunately, that isn’t easy to do – couples often find themselves entrenched in the same dysfunctional fight cycles again and again.  Instead of bringing people closer together, heart-to-heart discussions end up triggering hurt feelings and further alienation.   Then, when you add any kind of transition, stress, or grief to the equation, these hurtful interactions become more frequent and more intense.  The result is that one or both people spend the majority of their time feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, frustrated, lonely and confused.

As a couples counselor, one of my goals is to help people break these dysfunctional cycles and replace old, worn-out ways of interacting with more intentional and compassionate ones.  In addition to teaching new communication and life skills, I help couples expand and reorganize their emotional responses in a way that helps increase empathy and understanding, engenders self-growth, and brings greater intimacy and joy to the relationship.

I am happy to work with couples on all ends of the spectrum – from early relationship/premarital counseling, to relationship tune-ups, to rebuilding relationships that are in serious jeopardy, to helping separated/divorced couples navigate challenges.

For a more comprehensive description of couple counseling, please visit my website dedicated to relationships:  https://couplescounselorportland.com

My passion is to help people live happier and more fulfilling lives.

I offer individual therapy and couples counseling in Portland, Oregon. I have a dual counseling license, which means that I can also serve residents throughout the states of Oregon and Washington via online therapy.

I’ve provided individual and couples counseling in Portland, Klamath Falls, Beaverton, Eugene, Battle Ground, Olympia, Vancouver, Klamath Falls, Seattle, Hood River, Medford, Corvallis, Clackamas, Cannon Beach, Lake Oswego, Camas, Ashland, Salem, Spokane, Manzanita, Tacoma, Coos Bay, Bend, all over Oregon and Washington…via online therapy.

If you are searching for in-person couples counseling, please contact me and I will give you a referral. If you are looking for someone close to your home, type ‘couple counseling near me’ into your browser and it should provide you with nearby options.